Sometimes I really wonder about this thing we call life, or maybe it's more of what we call love. I don't really know. There are so many thoughts and feelings running through my head at this point in time. I don't even know where to begin to sort them out.
Most of us spend our lives in the pursuit of love. Even if we refuse to admit to it. Maybe it’s not love in the romantic sense. It’s more of the affection and comfort we all remember from childhood. When we become older, we find that we have to move away from the comforts of childhood and our parents love for us as children. We slowly assume adult responsibilities and are expected to not need as much comfort and security as before. As a matter of fact, we are supposed to be pretty much self-sufficient. In time, we take over the roles of provider and caretaker of our parents in the age-old cycle of life.
But then I wonder. What about that needy little child that remains inside all of us… what so-called psychobabble terms your inner child? We will never get over our need to be cherished, loved and secure. These are things that you cannot create for yourself but have to get from another person.
So, we seem to spend our whole lives searching for that person or persons to fulfill that role. It’s sort of like parental love but more. We always need and want more because we assume more responsibilities and do more. I agree that this is a weak point, but then it’s human nature to feel a sense of entitlement for our achievements, therefore the more we achieve, the more we feel entitled to.
Now back to love…. This is one thing I’m pretty confused about. I guess everyone else in my age group and beyond is as well. I am trying to hang on to my dreams and ideals about love and your so called soul mate or significant other, no doubt brought about by a surfeit of paperback romance novels and mushy girly movies, but at times, it’s a bit of a stretch. But I digress… I started this with something to say so I might as well get to the point….
I’ve always thought that eventually, I’d find that perfect someone that I’d fall in love with and stay in love with for the rest of my life. True, we’d have our ups and downs but there would always be love and that would be enough to get us through anything however big or small. At this point in time however, I’m starting to wonder if this is true? Is loving someone really enough to keep a relationship going indefinitely?
On a bad day, when pessimism overwhelms my thoughts and outlook, I’d say no. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes it isn’t enough. You do all the things you are supposed to do, say all the right things, and still it doesn’t work. You wonder what else to do, but can’t come up with anything. Things change and there is nothing you can do to stop it…. You just sit and wait for the explosion that marks the death of a relationship… sometimes you don’t even get the explosion…. Just a quiet whimper of hopelessness and it’s gone… all the bright shiny hopes and dreams turned to dust beneath the endless grind of everyday….
On a good day though, there is a glimmer of hope.. the hope that all of us are put on this planet as a half of a whole and that if you keep at it and hang in there, you will meet the person that is meant just for you who fills in all the little things you aren’t and makes you whole and better than the sum of yourself. True, I’m not so idealistic as to imagine that this is a simple process… No, it’s something that you work at each and every day of your life. But with a reward such as a true soul mate that lets you fly free, all the work certainly seems worth it.
I just wish for a moment that I could be sure that the optimistic view of love that I choose most of the time is the right one.. I would like to know that there is just one person or one couple who have actually found their soul mate who will last them through this life and more. I have yet to meet two such people and I wonder if I ever will.
Is suppose until I meet someone who has found a soul mate of I actually find someone like that myself, I’ll just have to keep on dreaming and hoping, perhaps in vain. But then, if I can’t have the real thing, the next best thing is to dream about it, right?
Most of us spend our lives in the pursuit of love. Even if we refuse to admit to it. Maybe it’s not love in the romantic sense. It’s more of the affection and comfort we all remember from childhood. When we become older, we find that we have to move away from the comforts of childhood and our parents love for us as children. We slowly assume adult responsibilities and are expected to not need as much comfort and security as before. As a matter of fact, we are supposed to be pretty much self-sufficient. In time, we take over the roles of provider and caretaker of our parents in the age-old cycle of life.
But then I wonder. What about that needy little child that remains inside all of us… what so-called psychobabble terms your inner child? We will never get over our need to be cherished, loved and secure. These are things that you cannot create for yourself but have to get from another person.
So, we seem to spend our whole lives searching for that person or persons to fulfill that role. It’s sort of like parental love but more. We always need and want more because we assume more responsibilities and do more. I agree that this is a weak point, but then it’s human nature to feel a sense of entitlement for our achievements, therefore the more we achieve, the more we feel entitled to.
Now back to love…. This is one thing I’m pretty confused about. I guess everyone else in my age group and beyond is as well. I am trying to hang on to my dreams and ideals about love and your so called soul mate or significant other, no doubt brought about by a surfeit of paperback romance novels and mushy girly movies, but at times, it’s a bit of a stretch. But I digress… I started this with something to say so I might as well get to the point….
I’ve always thought that eventually, I’d find that perfect someone that I’d fall in love with and stay in love with for the rest of my life. True, we’d have our ups and downs but there would always be love and that would be enough to get us through anything however big or small. At this point in time however, I’m starting to wonder if this is true? Is loving someone really enough to keep a relationship going indefinitely?
On a bad day, when pessimism overwhelms my thoughts and outlook, I’d say no. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes it isn’t enough. You do all the things you are supposed to do, say all the right things, and still it doesn’t work. You wonder what else to do, but can’t come up with anything. Things change and there is nothing you can do to stop it…. You just sit and wait for the explosion that marks the death of a relationship… sometimes you don’t even get the explosion…. Just a quiet whimper of hopelessness and it’s gone… all the bright shiny hopes and dreams turned to dust beneath the endless grind of everyday….
On a good day though, there is a glimmer of hope.. the hope that all of us are put on this planet as a half of a whole and that if you keep at it and hang in there, you will meet the person that is meant just for you who fills in all the little things you aren’t and makes you whole and better than the sum of yourself. True, I’m not so idealistic as to imagine that this is a simple process… No, it’s something that you work at each and every day of your life. But with a reward such as a true soul mate that lets you fly free, all the work certainly seems worth it.
I just wish for a moment that I could be sure that the optimistic view of love that I choose most of the time is the right one.. I would like to know that there is just one person or one couple who have actually found their soul mate who will last them through this life and more. I have yet to meet two such people and I wonder if I ever will.
Is suppose until I meet someone who has found a soul mate of I actually find someone like that myself, I’ll just have to keep on dreaming and hoping, perhaps in vain. But then, if I can’t have the real thing, the next best thing is to dream about it, right?
posted by dreamer @ 11/06/2004 09:45:00 AM
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